We love you Bruno!

the silence that greeted the family this morning was sad. the member of the family that croaks "kumain ka na ba?" to whoever is the first to wake up was eerily silent.


here lies bruno, a beloved member of the family. he who generously provided entertainment to the neighborhood kids and teens just by being himself, always obliging their clamor for his one-liners. bruno could have won barangay sta. maria kagawad, he was so popular.

this is the same creature who loves letting rip a lunatic cackle at the slightest or even no provocation. his high pitched "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" and sex maniac wolf whistle could be heard by our neighbors four, five houses away.

we came home yesterday to see you dead in your cage. the kids had called us at the office in panic but we wanted to see for ourselves.

we buried your body last night in the backyard, under the clothesline. your adoptive father needed a soft place to dig. do not begrudge him his choice of location, he was practically inconsolable last night (aside from slightly annoyed that yaya mila misplaced the shovel). the flowers are from jana, the lego cross is from both gabriel and diego. the candle is from me. jana led the prayers. may you now be in myna bird heaven.


this is our last picture of you, taken just one week ago.

now that you are gone, what will your adoptive father do when he wakes up? whose cage will he clean? who will he prepare pellets and fruits for? whose bath water will replace? who will he have a one-sided conversation with?

he could not stop talking about why you died and if it was his fault. he blames himself for giving you saging saba instead of table bananas. he thinks that is what killed you, indigestion.

good bye, bruno. we sorely miss you.

productive

i am reading this book called 100 ways to motivate other people. i borrowed this gleefully from the library, thinking YES! i will now have the secret formula to make others do this, do that. haha.

but not even halfway through it, i already feel massively cheated. teaching you to motivate others is only a consequence of the primary purpose of the authors. all they really want to do is to motivate YOU to motivate others!

and so because of this book, i have been a good girl the whole morning. like doing "the worst first". that means choosing the task you don't want to do the most, and doing that first.

where is the fun in that?

in any case, to reward myself for the productivity, albeit unwillingly done, i gave myself a GLAM manicure over the lunch break.

it does not go at all with the rest of the day's outfit but it was the only color i had (maybelline express finish GLITTER (the all caps this time is maybelline's, not mine). i could have gone to the salon two doors away but that would have set me back 120 pesos and i don't think i was THAT productive.

i look at it squinting because it is really, really badly done. there's more glitter on the pads of my fingers than on my nails. but hurray for productivity!

now lunch break's over. back to work!

have to return that book back to the library before it does any more damage.

When I grow up I am going to marry...

two hours ago, i didn't even know who or what cobus potgieter is.

now i want two things from him:

1. i want him to marry me.

2. i want him to become me.

shet. he is living out my rock star dream.



and he then he goes: "I am not even closely interested in Rock vs Pop politics, debating the difference between "good" and "bad" quality music is irrelevant to how much fun it might be to jam along to. LOVED jamming along to this song, when groove meets power, you have one very satisfied Cobus."

and then he goes on to play this

Lucky Children

the orphanage in talon-talon is officially called the Reception and Study Center for Children. i know. the name gives you absolutely no clue on what they're all about. reception makes you think of a convention hall. "study center" makes you think of either a library or a research institute. must be social welfare jargon.

the date to visit the orphanage was made by may maravilles, kiko miranda, and me on friday but by sunday, the party of three has happily grown to eight: may's val, my ariel, kenny (ownerless), ruselle (ditto), and ruth (ditto). mister donut made a killing from the delegation that morning. we all got our pasalubongs from them. may went the extra mile and threaded crystal bracelets for little girls.

although i had no expectations, i was taken aback by what i experienced. i did not expect the place to be so clean, the staff to be so down-to-earth, the babies to smell and feel so good.



this is the toddler's room. there were around six babies in here when we came in. some sleeping, some playing, some just fooling around. there were six cribs in the other side of the room, each housing one child. the room was very bright and clean. it had an aircon but it was blackout so the windows were open. the toddlers were all dry, clean, fresh-smelling. only one child, a boy in a crib, was crying. we were told he has palsy. the spastic kind. his back was stiffly arched the whole time we were there, and he was crying. maybe from pain? exhaustion? i don't know. i took him up -- he was perspiring heavily, maybe from exertion -- and imagine this, he stopped crying. instantaneously! i have never felt so angelic in all my life!

this is that boy. it is him who got carried but it is ruth that has the bright smile on her face.

the thing about the kids in the place was that, once you carry them, no matter if the child is the 5 month old girl in the nursery, this boy with cerebral palsy in the toddler room, or an older child in the older children's room, once you carry them, they will cling to you for dear life. they are all so hungry to be touched. at that moment, all i wanted to do was grab all of them and do as buddha does.

this is kenny, kiko, and russelle with their respective toddlers. when it was time for us to leave and kenny put his child back in the pen, this little boy bawled his insides out and when that didn't work, he ran after kenny and when that didn't work either, he slammed his entire boy into the mattress. i swear, any WWF wrestler would envy his technique. in the end though, we had to leave.

that's the other thing. you go there, you hug them, but you know you will have to leave. leave with an aching heart, yes. but still you have to go. back to work, back to your "real" kids. the orphans on the other hand don't know that. each time someone comes and carries them, they will give you their heart. what to do with the heart that they entrust to us?

this is mariel from the nursery. she smelled of baby shampoo and powder. (i need to talk to them about the bad effects of baby powder hehe). when she felt me disentangling her and starting the back-to-the-crib-you-go maneuver, she stiffened her body to make things hard for me and gave a little whimper. i finally managed to distract her by filling her crib with toys.

i think my husband fell in love with this baby. "parang si gabriel", he said. when i told him the child's background, all he could do was shake his head.

each child has a story, all tragic. the most tragic of all are the blank stories. these belong to children with no provenance.

parents: UNKNOWN
hometown: UNKNOWN
birthdate: UNKNOWN
any known relatives: NONE

to me that is just a shitty thing to give to a child.


this is margot. may fell in love with her before they met. margot has pretty eyes and a sad history.

after the nursery and the toddler room, we went to the regular children's room. like in the other rooms, the kids were clean, had shiny hair and shiny skin. mukhang alagang-alaga. there were a group of orphans who spoke American accented English. apparently, they grew up in an orphanage run by americans or something like that. asked where he is from, one boy replied "sahn howsey, takhlohbahn".

like any regular kids, they wanted a second and a third donut. but i noticed that if they wanted some more, they asked nicely and not just grabbed. one of the big kids caught me by surprise though. He reached into the box with both hands, groped the sweet stuff and helped himself to three! when i looked up, i realized he was blind on both eyes. he didn't even know what it was we were giving him. he just queued for it because that was what everybody else was doing it. he brought his loot to a corner, smelled it, then put one inside his mouth, then the two others.

this is a photo of some of the girls, eating their donut. i am between kenny and tita cory motomal, one of the administrators or directors of the place. what an interesting woman. when we got to the place, she was inside her car. she came out when she saw us, saying: i was here kanina pa, but i did not want to get out of the car because the music playing was beautiful."

enjoying their munchkin.

then we went to the isolation room. this is where they put children who have special needs. the eldest child in the place, Nur, is their de facto ate. she carried the donuts with her and doled it out like santa. nur has a best friend who stays at the isolation room, marvin. nur favors marvin. she would give marvin first and the most and more frequently.

this is Nur making like Santa in the isolation room. the boy in orange is funny. he was not interested in the donut AT ALL. he is interested in everything else, it seems. for example, when we came in, he stood next to me and studied the buckle of my bag intently, fiddling with it a little. then he moved on to the camera case hanging off ruth's (i think) bag. then at someone else's belt.

this is how his face looks like when he is obsessing on something. look at that brow scrunch in concentration. i think this was the time he was studying the construction of the camera case. in his hand is his uneaten munchkin.

p.s. salamat kay kiko for these pictures. they're all from his facebook album. i bought my cam but i got so taken up with the kids i forgot to take it out of the bag. alibis, alibis.

Happy Birthday, Diego!

this is our son diego, he turned six yesterday. here he is at the carnival on tetuan highway. he basically decided on his birthday night's itinerary: dinner at jollibee then the carnival.





diego is cool. cool in a fonzie! kind of way. in that sense, he is so much like his father. when his father was 21.



this is diego, sharing a peek into the viewfinder with gabriel's mr. bear. notice that the camera has no lens. diego and the bear don't care.





diego likes to take pictures as much as he likes to pose for pictures.






i asked him what he likes doing most, taking pictures of posing for pictures, he said: the same!

plagiarizing an amex card ad

we have a lot of magazines at home. a lot. there are erudite ones (national geo, the new yorker), gossip mags pretending to be erudite (vanity fair), fashion mags with erudite affectations (vogue), out and out fashion mags (in style, elle, bazaar), shelter, design and home (elledecor, house beautiful, martha stewart), and too much consumer reports.

i know several people who don't like magazines because they are "just mostly ads". but to me, that IS the point. i read them for their editorial content, yes. but i also read them for the ads. sometimes, the ads are better done than the editorial content, in my opinion. call me stupid but i can stare at an ad for a very long time, drooling over the picture, the color, the text, the copy. i think i am going to prod one of my kids (jana most likely) into the advertising or graphic design world so i can live out one of my dreams vicariously through her.

on the way to work this morning, this american ad on vanity fair caught my attention. isn't it beautiful? this is a series. ken watanabe is the one featured here but m. night shyamalan has done it. tina fey. eddie vader. it inspired me to do a blog post like it, where i can pretend to be an artsy celebrity and answer the questions.



My name Yen Blanco Delgado

Childhood ambition To design houses and maybe clothes.

Fondest memory All my growing up years.

Soundtrack rock. 80s new wave and 90s alternative.

Retreat my sister's beach house in zamboanga del norte

Wildest dreams backpack all over the world with my family

Proudest moments each time our kids declare a victory. over a chore, a project.

Biggest challenge being serious.

Alarm clock my cellphone.

Perfect day hammock. beach. tree. book. ice tea. ipod.

First job teaching science in a parochial high school.

Indulgence magazines. (told you). this blog.

Last purchase professional cleaning service for a digital slr.

Favorite movie right now? pride and prejudice.

Inspiration most everything i see and hear factors in.

My life all things considered, is perfect.

My card is the lowest kind of BPI Express Credit Card.

Now, how to get a picture of myself nuzzling a horse and cuddling a dog.

this is a list of ten books that i love. it is not the ultimate list. tonight i will probably wake up regretting not including one book or another. it is not listed in any particular order either. while looking over the list, i just realized i basically like books that have hollywood plots. see for yourself, there are no tuesdays with morrie or the notebook types of book here. most definitely no james joyce stream of consciousness dribble either. no focaults pendulum. no ayn rand. i've read some books like that. i don't feel like listing them in my "books i love" list. mainly because i don't believe i love them.




to kill a mockingbird
i love this book for many reasons but primarily because atticus reminds me so much of my father: the wisdom, respect for the dignity of other people, a sense of humor that is always teasing but never sarcastic, the love of the written word, the all-encompassing but never cloying love for his children, the sense of justice, the peripheral love for sports. they were both lawyers. my dad was a marksman too. my five sisters and i still battle on who gets to be scout. my copy of this book looks even worse than that on the photo.

heidi
this book has the most sentimental value. it is the first book that i read. i was grade three or four. my daughter jana has it and is suspicious of my claims to have read it so she quizzes me: what is the name of the friend of heidi who is invalid? what is invalid? where does heidi sleep in the alps? sometimes when i am feeling naughty (which is too often) i quiz her back: what is the name of the two favorite goats of peter ? what is the name of the city where clara lives? both question stumps her. the answers: swanli and barli and frankfurt.


exodus
all the girls in the family have a crush on ari ben canaan. i can't believe paul newman played him in the movie. i was hoping for someone taller, more rugged. paul is too pretty, in my opinion. this is the book that got me started on my obsession with books about jews. last saturday, after lunch at her house, mommy told me that while cleaning up the bookshelves, she discovered we had a total of three exodus books. all in embarrassing states of disrepair.


the chosen
i have read this book about seven gazillion times. it's a story about a young genius jewish boy, the son of a high ranking rabbi, who befriends a slightly less intelligent but more industrious jewish boy, the son of an esteemed hebrew professor. set in new york during the time right after world war 2, when the jewish world was divided over the creation of israel. i like stories about geniuses and i like stories about the jewish people. i guess books like this taught me that there is more to the world than the culture that i grow up with (long before i even knew what a culture was).


little women
because i am the fourth girl in the family, i have been assigned to be amy, the "maarte" one. i want to be jo, the heroine. so did all my other sisters. later on i decided i didn't want to be jo. i learned the author was jo and i didn't like that she made herself the star of her own book. i have a strong feeling my being assigned the role of amy has affected who i am today. i am after all maarte.


eats, shoots and leaves
this book on the other hand makes me laugh. this book taught me that it's okay to be anal about punctuation -- there are others worse off than me.

harry potter
i exhorted others to pirate illegal ebooks of this as i was always too impatient for the next installment to be released. while other parents campaigned to have this banned, i was up until 3am reading them so that rashdi can take over when he wakes up in the morning.


love story
you will cry. no jews here. but there are plenty of white anglo saxon protestant preppies, a demography which i also because borderline obsessed with. the concept of being born privileged was very fascinating to me.



the thirteenth tale
a fairy tale that is modern and ancient at the same time. i love fairy tales. actually i love fairies, period. you know, the kind that are little and have wings and are cute but scary. that kind. no such fairies in this book, mind you. but i love this book still. am rambling now, so moving on to the last book on the list...


island in the stream
if i were a novelist, i would want to be like ernest hemingway. if i were a man, i would want to be like ernest hemingway. if i were a human being, i would want to be like ernest hemingway (in the sense that he always seemed to live life to the fullest). he killed himself though. that i don't want to do.