Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Noy and Yen: The Secret Pact

i have a very selfish reason for wanting noynoy's presidency to work: if noynoy delivers, then i don't have to go work as a nurse in the states.

i am a registered nurse both here and in the state of connecticut, that great bastion of american WASP-hood. my family's immigration application is on hold, allegedly because of retrogression. i don't know exactly what retrogression is. all i know is that every important decision ariel and i have made for the family since 2004 has been greatly informed by this phenomenon called retrogression: should ariel apply for work abroad or not? maybe not because what if the immigration papers arrive? should i get my masters or not? maybe not because what if the immigration papers arrive? and so on and so forth.

ariel and i offered our family to the american government for consideration, but they didn't want us. not in 2004. not in 2008. not in 2010.

i don't want to go to the states. others do want to go, and others do get to go but i don't. not when i was 16 and enrolling myself into adzu's bsn program. not now when i am 38 and teaching 16 year old freshmen for a living.

if i sound like i am sour graping, take it from me. i am not. and i have a feeling i sound callous and ungrateful to all the people who helped me with the immigration application, my sis girlie in particular. but i hope you understand what i am trying to say sister dear.

nor do i begrudge my mom for making me take up nursing. at that time, she thought that it was for the best. the cost of bsn is very high and i appreciate my mother for caring for me and my future so much.

i love that i have a sister there who sends us packages. but it would be perfectly fine too if she were just here and not sending me packages. girlie, this is not a signal for you to stop sending the bboxes.

i love that i have classmates based abroad who treat us to sumptuous lunches and dinners when they come home to zamboanga.

but me, i just want to stay here in zamboanga. and not work as a nurse. i don't like to work as a nurse in the same way that i don't want to work as an airline pilot or as a bank manager or as a mayor of a city. it's nothing personal against those practicing these professions. it's just a personal preference. i understand that others would also rather die than teach or write.

and at this point, i want to go back to the topic of noynoy's presidency. if he delivers on his promises, then the philippines will be better and all the reasons that we held on to as we prepared our immigration papers won't be there anymore.

why go to the states when we can earn a decent living here? a living that will allow us to shelter ourselves, feed ourselves good food, send our children to good schools?

i would love to visit the states, that's for sure. but i would love to visit europe more. but this is non sequitur, as my dad would say.

noy, i loved your inaugural speech. i want you to be better than both your father and mother. i want you to make the country better so my family does not have to go to the states. because i really don't want to work as a nurse. i'd much rather teach and write for a living. and sell stuff. para mo nang awa, wag mo akong piliting mag nurse sa states.

this is the reason why in the 2010 election i opted to support a candidate. ever since i could vote, my involvement with the election has always been non-partisan. eight years ago, i helped put together the Movement for a Better Zamboanga's voters' ed pamphlet called "choosing wisely" (about which my wiseass friends would say, sino si wisely, yen, at bakit sya karapatdapat iboto) and in the last national election, coordinating the news bureau of the local namfrel.

noy, you have my support. i have my own agenda for supporting you but you will not begrudge me it, will you? i swear, they are not the only reasons. i am thinking of our four kids too. i will grow old more gracefully knowing my kids are going to live in a better Philippines. don't give me wrinkles!