i LOVE you, stephan!

when i grow up i am going to marry stephan jenkins of third eye blind.

i know, i know. husband and i celebrated our ninth just this week and everything.... but just look at and listen to this guy. just look and listen.





"i don't wanna crush you but i feel like crushing you..."

well, you know what, stephan, i am crushing ON you in a MAJOR, MAJOR way because you are so cute and your songs are so, so, so very cute. never mind that your lyrics are sometimes incomprehensible, maybe that is just because you operate on a higher intellectual plane than i or something. oh my goshness. you make me dizzy with crush.


this guy, singing barefoot in rolled up jeans and a t-shirt, received an english lit degree from usc berkeley....as class valedictorian. no shit. and he grew up dyslexic. to my mind, he is proof incarnate that the world is NOT fair.





this last picture is of the current object of my malice (say stee-vin, not stef-on) with seal. seal is another guy i will marry once i grow up and, i guess, once he gets tired of heidi klum.
and here is the requisite cheesy shot, the consequence of being named one of people magazine's 50 most beautiful. i hope the tight silver lame pants wasn't his decision.


these last two photos are of him looking responsible. i prefer him looking as if hygiene isn't a priority. i bet he stinks. good thing odor can't be uploaded yet.

husband loves third eye blind. he will eat the entire first album if his stomach were made of sterner stuff (it isn't). so i bet he won't mind if i ask permission to marry stephan. maybe i'll do it tonight.

unforgivably forgetful

ugh. caught flatfooted again.

i was, until a few moments ago, checking final exam papers (well, virtual papers) at the office when in comes husband with a bag of brownies and a bottle of ice tea with the preamble "gusto kitang bilhan ng flowers pero puro lanta ang binibenta ng mga flower shops. baka naubos para sa sementeryo."

ha?

"anniversary natin, inday yenyen."

that is my husband's brand of romance: brusque, practical, sweet.

he told me how much the brownies cost and that i should leave some for the kids.

i let the whole world know i forgot all about our anniversary last year. then i went and forgot about this year's. next year will be our tenth. thinking about it -- more specifically, that i will forget about it -- is making me anxious.

happy anniversary, husband. i left six brownies in the bag: one for each child plus one each for yaya jennilyn and yaya bingbing. but i finished the iced tea, is that okay? haha.

i want to eat google chrome themes

i downloaded google chrome the other day. i already forget how i came across this new web browser. everything interesting i find in the internet, it seems, i just stumble upon, unlooked. stumbling upon interesting websites was the big idea behind my first attempt at blogging, in 2005, i think. i called it princess of serendip or some nonsense like that.

when i announced on facebook that i WILL replace my beloved mozilla firefox with google chrome, the first comment came from fr. denny, an IT jedi master. he gave a big tsk, tsk to my plan. he said i should not discard firefox completely because some programs do not work so well off chrome.

but, fr. denny, chrome's themes are soooooo prettyyyyy.....

for the others who have not already done so, go see for yourselves how VEDDY PWEETTY they are.

there are two theme categories: commissioned artists and google's own.

there are 45 choices in the commissioned artists' category. except for three or four designs that i do not appreciate, i'd gladly download them all. but i tried to be a good girl and narrowed the list down to five must-haves. they may be free but i am not allowing myself to be greedy.

in no particular order:



this is by oscar dela renta. this is what i chose first. using it now. it looks like the shavings left by someone who went crazy sharpening dozens of pink, red, and gray crayola. beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. google just gave me the chance of own a dela renta. indebted forever.


this one's as color saturaated as the dela renta. by Ocean Pacific, makers of board shorts and other surf wear. i love the colors.


it was a choice between this and one by fashion designer anna sui. i wanted both but i had to make a choice between the two otherwise people might think i love mariah carey. the anna sui also had butterflies but on a field of violet.

talking of mariah, there actually is a designer theme for her (or by her?). with her picture. that one made it to my list of "three of four designs i do not understand".


this makes me smile, smile, smile. this could have been done by daughter.

and this one, red flowers on spindly black branches, very japanese, don't you think? this one is by an australian fashion designer with a japanese-sounding name, akira isogawa.

majority of the themes were done by fashion designers but there were also very beautiful ones by illustrators, artists, anime, car manufacturers (porsche), and even the cartoon pocoyo. it makes me so sad to exclude the pocoyo theme from my shortlist of five because i love him so much, but the pocoyo theme didn't look so good. it didn't do my pocoyo justice. could you please make another one, pocoyo people?

you might want to ask how chrome is performing, because, after all, a browser isn't all about pretty themes. well, my answer to that is another question: is it possible for google to create anything ugly?

but then again, you shouldn't trust my opinion on this. i only know what my eyes like.

do we really deserve our children?

found this while organizing my wallet this morning:


got this about five weeks ago.

is there a competition for the most distraught birthday greeting ever written? because if there is, i think i have a winner here:



a decoding of the hieroglyphics:

Sorry I cannot give you the drawing because i lost it pls forgive me pls make sandwiches for me i cant stop thinking about it i made a small picture e down there

(then a drawing of a woman and a little girl raising their arms up in worship under a cotton candy tree as a rabbit looks on)

What would you like as a gift a message, TV, story or what please make a decision.

she apparently made this note in a frenzy while dressing up for school, panicked that she lost the drawing she made the night before; the drawing with which she intended to surprise me as i woke up to my 37th birthday.

if, in the future, time magazine will interview me for a profile on jana and they ask me what jana was like as a child, i will simply show them this. this letter is everything jana is: loving, crazy, sensitive, emotional, thoughtful, demanding ("please make a decision"), distracted ("please make me a sandwich"), generous, courteous, creative. this is also evidence of how easily she goes into a frenzied panic (like losing the painting she made the night before to give to me as present), her cavalier attitude to spelling (by "message" she meant a back rub), and how disdainful she is of the god of punctuation marks, the period.

vain rin daw ako

someone called me vain two days ago: "the only problem with you yen is that you are vain." well, yezzzzzzz. i AM vain. but i beg to disagree with that person on two counts. first, vanity is far from being my only character flaw. i discussed in great detail what i consider my primary personality flaw here. second, i don't consider my vanity a problem AT ALL.

answers.com on vanity:
n., pl., -ties.

1. The quality or condition of being vain.
2. Excessive pride in one's appearance or accomplishments; conceit. See synonims at conceit.
3. Lack of usefulness, worth, or effect; worthlessness.
4. 1. Something that is vain, futile, or worthless.
   2. Something about which one is vain or conceited.
5. A vanity case.
6. See dressing table.
7. A bathroom cabinet that encloses a basin and its water lines and drain, usually furnished with shelves and drawers underneath for storage of toiletries.

one by one now. definition #1 we will discard.

my problem with #2 is the word "excessive". i cannot for the life of me recall what i did during that meeting where the comment was made that indicated justification of the use of the word "excessive" regarding my vanity. i was dressed in saturday-friendly denim skirt, A-line and below the knee, an ugly (but with which i am inexplicably in love) flat leather shoes, a fitted blue and white striped polo shirt and a necklace. was it the necklace that triggered the comment? it could not have been the polo shirt because it had a very obvious chocolate smear over my bilbil. it could not have been my hair style either, a regulation, more pedestrian than pedestrian ponytail, a hairdo i have been wearing since....toddlerhood or whenever it was that enough of my hair could be gathered into a rubber band.

i wasn't wearing ANY makeup either, so it could not have been that.

sigh. the thing that bothers me really is what it was that provoked the comment. one part of me is saying to just let it go. and i really want to let go. but the other, more stubborn part of me, is holding on to the issue for dear life.

maybe that person was just feeling a bit down herself and needed someone to lash out at? well, of all the many things she could have said and done to lash out at me, why did she pick "vain"?

granted i take pride in my apprearance. i like going out of the house liking how i look. i like looking at things that look nice, and i would like to think that i look nice too, somehow. but vanity has never be something desctructive in my life. i don't spend too much money on it even. can someone who has not had a facial EVER be justifiably called vain? and i have not had a mani-pedi in a parlor since i was in my first trimester with the cute monster that is gabriel who is now almost three years old. and the last haircut i got was something i gave myself about two months ago in front of the bathroom mirror: lopped off about four inches with my paper scissor.

(i am not calling a haircut mini bangs gabriel gifted me with six weekends ago. i woke up from my siesta to see a clump of considerably long hair lying on the floor next to my house slippers and a clump of very short hair standing in a spike dead center on my hairline).

do i take pride in my accomplishments? i don't know. i don't think so.

definition #3 and 4, lack of usefulness, worth or effect; worthlessness. i never knew vanity could also mean this. in any case, i am not useless. now if i say i am not worthless, will that make me vain?

definitions #5, 6 and 7: i am not a piece of furniture nor a bathroom fixture, that's for sure.

the only reason i can think of why i might be thought of vain is because of how i dress. and i am not inclined to make any changes on the way i dress on account of someone thinking me vain.

haha. vain. the word makes me think of a friend's email address: vaindawako. maybe i should chain my email addy to vainrindawako. my friend is now a hotshot photographer, so i will be in good company.

Congratulations, NUTCASE people!

congratulation to the advanced journalism students for the successful launching of their double-issue magazine, NUTCASE, on Tuesday, October 13.

(announcing the new publication to catwalk traffic)

(a very few minutes before the launch, trying to fold and staple all one thousand copies,
still managing to smile for the camera. standing from left to right: wally, almera, jeff, ryan, marj,
johnars, nash, arvin, lara, vien, and jade. seated are anna, mariz, and earl.)

the road to that day has been less than smooth. glitches marred the process. some of them could be blamed on gloria macapagal arroyo (7 holidays this sem!), some could be blamed on the more benevolent but seemingly equally harsh mother nature (while torrential rains blessed the distribution, it also caused many students to be late or absent for important class activities), and some could be blamed on no one else but the members of the class itself.

but, what is important is that the magazine did get launched, favorable comments were elicited, and HOPEFULLY, lessons were learned. congratulations to everybody for managing to plan, research, write, and re-write, and re-write, and re-write a feature article.

some of you admitted right from the start that you are insecure about your writing abilities, some of you even admitted outright that you hated any form of writing (see you in radio and tv journ! :)) but look at you now, you are now PUBLISHED. at least 1000 ateneo de zamboanga university students have read your article. exciting! but scary too, i know.

that's journ for you.

anna and lara, how generous of you to accept the major responsibility of being your group's coordinator. i know it couldn't have been easy but i think you did a marvelous job.

jill and marj, what talented writers you are. speechless.

jade and nhordz, you struggled to gather the money to make this happen. i hope everything is in so that we can all breath easy.

jeff and anna, great layout, especially considering the short amount of time you had.

ryan, excellent publicity campaign. very bold. fun and fearless.

special mention to wally and daphne, you were not part of the advanced journalism class, and yet you had hearts big enough to lend a much-needed helping hand.


and to everyone who was at the assembly line seven million nanoseconds to the time you wanted to distribute NUTCASE to the public, great job on the folding and the stapling.

this is the time to be happy with yourself for having published NUTCASE. congratulations!

(collation section of the assembly line: lara, nash, marj, arvin)

(collation section two: vien and jade. earl at the end of the line is one half of the folding section)

(rightmost is ryan, distributing their Happy Peanuts pakulo at the back canteen)

(Lara and Ryan and a bevy of boys holding up their NUTCASE peanuts)

(intruding at the front canteen)

(and at the kiosks)

(anna and wally with copies that are good to go)

(jeff with so much to staple, so little time)

(johnars transporting assembled mags to their next to final destination)

history of mankind

have you ever had a day when you felt so beautiful and powerful, and so you walked tall; and you felt so fresh and light and pretty and clean and capable, and so you smile and wave at every one you meet? and then you go to the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror and see...how ugly you actually look? how puffy your eyes and cheeks are, how blotchy your skin is, how sad your outfit is, and that you have an insane bird's nest for hair?

that just happened to me moments ago. but the great thing is, my elevated mood is BULLETPROOF. never mind how i look, watch out instead for how i feel because, ladies and gentlemen, today i am going to go through my to do list like no one has ever gone through their to do list in the history of mankind.

remembering bright days in this gloomy weather

this is my favorite among the latest family pictures. a picture of our backs -- except one sister's, maita in the upper right hand corner. but then she is sort of semi-crouching, not looking directly at the cam. i have no idea who took this picture, maybe one of the spouses. but this was definitely taken from the tree house above us.

that group there is the biggest latest gathering to date of my brothers and sisters. yep. all the siblings present except one, anna, who was in manila at the time. this was taken may 2009, in a beach in labason. that little girl in pajamas in the picture is not my sister, that is my niece bea. she is there because her father, ryan, our youngest, is there. bea only ever does one of two things: run away from his father, or run towards his father. in this photo, she is running TO ryan.

what are we doing here? well, aside from showcasing our huge backs, we are plotting how sister girlie should develop her little beach side property. that property is, by the way, not the the property we were currently enjoying at that time. we are a beach-going family: we go to a beach to plan how to develop another beach.

clockwise, from top left: blanca in floral shorts, maita the crouching doctor, sporty girlie in bullcap and crossback suit, monching looking like a frog, ryan with his bea, and me with my ehrm...huge back. i love my swimsuit here. got it from ukay-ukay for 50 pesos. dunno whose shorts i am wearing. during reunions, our wardrobes tend to get mixed up. understatement.

looking forward to another family meeting like this. we just had a good lunch. there was so much food but i can remember there was cassava boiled in coconut milk and sugar. the music playing then was good. of course i would say that. that was my ipod on. the san mig light was icy cold. the kids were blissfully charring themselves black under the sun, with constant basting in seawater and sun block. the spouses were elsewhere, glad to be rid, even for a brief moment only, of the crazy blancos and their spawn.



this is another picture from the may 2009 reunion, in my sister maita's house in liloy. that there is my son gabriel and my niece juliana. a mattress underneath, a mattress overhead, and another mattress rolled up and ready to tow, their noah's ark is good to go.

when i grow up i am going to marry viggo mortensen

when i grow up i will marry viggo mortensen not just because he played strider/aragorn in lord of the the rings but simply because he is so demd pretty.





he is 50 (and i am 37!), is half danish, grew up all over latin america (that means i can abuse him with my bastard spanish), the usa, and denmark where he worked as truck driver (gasp!). legend has it that when he graduated from university, he refused to wear an academic gown because it was made in a sweatshop.

exactly my kind of graduation candidate.